Loveless Love Advisor

Believe it or not, some people do actually ask for advice about relationships to this cold and heartless bitch. I don’t know which one is more stupid, the one who’s asking it or the one who is answering all the questions about having a relationship while herself has never been in it for good. But I’m not a bad analyst, and, because I’m neutral I believe I can see things more objectively.

So yeah, this one day, an old friend asked for some advice. At first it was a sharing session we had, then it turns out to be a demand-for-solution session. So I gave him what I think best to do, or at least what I would do if I’m in his shoes.

And then he leaned back and gave me that look. The look that made you think ‘What did I say?’
And he grinned. “You know something?’ he asked.
I didn’t respond, it was rhetoric.
“You really can nail things, you know. And I believe you for years, because all things that you’ve said has never judge me for all my wrongs, yeah, at times you just don’t blame me and make me feel bad, and choose to find something that can solve the problems. Yeah yeah, I like that.

Yes you can give suggestions about dealing with flirty girlfriends, or the one who always hang out with their exes frequently rather than hang out with me. Or... the one who is so spoiled. Or the one who always talk about herself. Or the one with the psychotic ex.”

We laughed. We knew that one.

“So many of them. And I’m glad I can talk to you about things. I do.
But you know what, you can really tell how to deal with fucked-up relationships. You can really look things half-glass-full if needed, and it is good. But really,

If I asked you about this one condition I’m particularly in, this condition is Love.

I love this girl, despite all of our problems. How do you deal with love?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Yes we have a big – crazily enormous problem. But I can’t stop loving her, god knows why. Yes you can tell me to put her aside for awhile, loosen things a bit, solve things straight, but what if I can’t do it. What can you do if nothing ... nothing else you want to do except being with her?

I mean logically it is nonsense, but what is logic, what is the fun of having logic if you don’t want to risk anything to find out how you truly feel?”

Well he got me there. This dead romantic dude successfully made me speechless.
And you know, just like ginger cookie who almost died in blabla’s mouth in Shrek 3: when his whole life pass him by, oh boy I got a flashback with every relationships that I have, especially with I have recently.

And as a combo, my old friend striked again. “That is why you never have a long-term one, in my opinion. You’re too afraid to risk your feeling, Ran. You gamble with life, but you don’t want to gamble your love.

And they say, you’re an so-called-adventurer, because you don’t stick with the same person for more than six months, or even two months. For me you’re not an adventurer at all. You keep your heart in you, and don’t let anybody open it, because once they try to, you ran.

You don’t get bored by them, you get scared by them.”

Ok, he was being too much on that one. I mean, heeeey, love isn’t something to gamble for.

“I thought you’re the one who have a problem.” I said.
He laughed really hard. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not judging you, ok? It’s only a silly opinion, it just crossed my mind, I’m sorry.

It’s just that, this time, I’m dealing with love. I love her. You can tell me how to deal with girls, but how do you deal with love?”

Yeah yeah. He’s got a point. How can anyone deal with love.

I’m not answering anything again, and change the topic to some colleague of mine who stressed out and do ballet dancing (he’s a straight guy) every time we work overtime in midnight – while my mind wandering to other places and other dimensions, wondering how she’s been doing.



Ps.
Six years ago this dead romantic old friend of mine once said to me “I think I love you, but I don’t know yet.”
I found that ironically funny.