Un:Cut

there's so many things got stuck in the throat.
so many pleases. so many tears.
so many i-need-you-bads. so many i-dont-understands.
so many when-did-we-fall-aparts.
so many when-did-we-fall-in-loves.
so many bruises destroying my sanity. so many numb feelings.
so many i'm-fine-without-yous, so many where-do-all-the-good-feelings?
so many uncertainty. so many spaces in this grey room,
without knowing will there ever be a solid you standing next to me.
so many you in my thought. so many i-don't-want-this, but it's happening anyway.
so many memories in air i'm inhaling.
so many loathes in between my chest.
so many make-believes. so many melancholic comedy.
too many to explain, so all i can manage to slipped through my breath was,

thankyou for cleaning up my mess

and you said softly,

you're welcome