Un:Cut

Must be nice to have a family.

Disinilah gue, daerah Kintamani Bali, kerja. Kepaksa.
Baru aja dengerin cerita Retha soal liburannya kemarin ke Italy, Yunani dan Prancis sama keluarganya, sama ibu bapak, kedua abang, kedua adiknya... Dengan pasangan masing-masing. Retha juga sama pacarnya, Rio.

Gue selalu seneng dengerin cerita keluarga besar yang sampe tua bangka masih akur, biarpun anak-anak sudah menikah, tapi nggak ribet ngurusin harta keluarga, atau menghakimi rumah tangga masing-masing. Mau kawin beda agama kek, mau berpasangan sama sesama gender kek... Urusan masing-masing. Love accepts all, love will save us all.

I wish I have a family like that. Or at least, I wish I have a family.
I think I am lonely.
I think I don't fit with anybody.
And I just realize I don't have a family.

When my brother died, I buried him.
When my Mum one day dies, I will bury her.
And when I die, I have no idea who's gonna bury me.




But then, on second thought. It's a privilege for me.
If God put any intention to any living thing,
I hope this is mine:
To take care all the people I love until their very end,
and to not let them watch me when I am deceased.
Dying alone maybe frees me.