2011 is not a good year for me, I can feel it since the beginning.
But you just can't get all the jackpots in life, eh?
With all the respect to the maker of time, this year is still weird. Maybe me.
Can't stop being confused, can't stop feeling lonely, can't thank you enough.
Sue me, I'm the villain. I made mistakes.
I'm so selfish sometimes, that all I can think about is my feeling,
all I'm feeling is sadness. I feel like this stupid version of Sylvia Plath.
I don't know what's happening with my mind. I can't feel my heart anymore.
David thinks that it's because I still foolishly longing for Gerry, my God, what have I done to him (David). He's the best Godsend I got this year and I'm throwing him away like a piece of junk. I wouldn't expect him to forgive me. He doesn't deserve me, no one deserves me, I'm just a piece of self-oriented nothingness. Am I pathetic? Yes, I am, and I am not afraid to say it.
But I made my learning, and I know this won't last forever. Since the very first days of my life, I got instincts. I can see ghosts too, and I can vision someone's future sometimes, but it's my instincts that always lead me. I'm lost now but as I wander in my confusion, I'm closer to the light. Someone guides me, maybe my great grandfather, maybe my father, maybe my sister, or maybe my brother. In every breath I took I wish for their happiness and support. We're never apart, that I know.
Now, in the early days of the last months of 2011, I just couldn't wait for 2012.
All the mistakes you've done in the past, they happened to guide you, not to define you.
But you just can't get all the jackpots in life, eh?
With all the respect to the maker of time, this year is still weird. Maybe me.
Can't stop being confused, can't stop feeling lonely, can't thank you enough.
Sue me, I'm the villain. I made mistakes.
I'm so selfish sometimes, that all I can think about is my feeling,
all I'm feeling is sadness. I feel like this stupid version of Sylvia Plath.
I don't know what's happening with my mind. I can't feel my heart anymore.
David thinks that it's because I still foolishly longing for Gerry, my God, what have I done to him (David). He's the best Godsend I got this year and I'm throwing him away like a piece of junk. I wouldn't expect him to forgive me. He doesn't deserve me, no one deserves me, I'm just a piece of self-oriented nothingness. Am I pathetic? Yes, I am, and I am not afraid to say it.
But I made my learning, and I know this won't last forever. Since the very first days of my life, I got instincts. I can see ghosts too, and I can vision someone's future sometimes, but it's my instincts that always lead me. I'm lost now but as I wander in my confusion, I'm closer to the light. Someone guides me, maybe my great grandfather, maybe my father, maybe my sister, or maybe my brother. In every breath I took I wish for their happiness and support. We're never apart, that I know.
Now, in the early days of the last months of 2011, I just couldn't wait for 2012.
All the mistakes you've done in the past, they happened to guide you, not to define you.
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