Maybe I still have a future after all. (Without him).
(Without marriages).
... maybe.
Maybe I don’t want a farm or pension plan.
Maybe I don’t want a cabin in the mountains.
Maybe I don’t loathe this city.
Maybe I can just keep traveling until I die, alone.
With the last of the money that I have.
(I have to figure out on who’s gonna take care Domi, Moon, Daize & The Cats if so)
(... but what is that money can’t buy)
Maybe I should stop grounding myself,
The only person has ever loved me truly has left me,
I don’t supposedly have baggage.
Maybe I should be selfish,
and just fly away and disappear,
that would break my promise with the animals,
but maybe I should break all of my promises.
They are all irrationals, partly are imaginations,
just like how I wished my husband would be.
All of these wishful thoughts should just … stop.
So I could see,
in the crisp clear of a weather,
where there is no place for shadows to underlie,
I should be able to see
… that maybe I have a future after all.
---
I’m not happy in this marriage. I don’t think this will grow.
I’m not happy. I would probably need to let this love go.
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